Why I'm Doing This
The first note. Why I'm done being polished in public and real in private — and what I'm going to document here every week.
// THE BRAIN
// STATUS
12 lbs over baseline. Week 1 of the restart.
This line changes when the number changes. Keeping it current — especially when it's unflattering — is the point of it.
// THE DIAGNOSIS
Short version: I was diagnosed with ADHD soon after I got clean. The psychiatrist explained how my brain worked, and it was the first time my whole life made mechanical sense. Then he handed me a prescription.
I never filled it. I had just spent four and a half years outsourcing how I feel to substances, and I wasn't going to open the new life by doing it again with a co-signature. That was my line, not advice — plenty of people do well on medication. The long version of that decision, and everything around it, is on the story page.
What I did instead was build a system. It's below, exactly as I run it.
// THE PROTOCOL
Last updated: July 2026This is a living document, not a manifesto. Lines get added, adjusted, and removed as the evidence comes in — the stamp above tells you how current it is.
I'm not a doctor. This is what I do, not what you should do. It's one unmedicated ADHD brain's working configuration, published because I would have wanted to read someone else's.
// THE COMEBACK LOOP
Here's the part most protocol pages leave out: I fall off this. The protocol above is real, and so are the weeks it collapses — a vacation, a stretch of chaos at the lab, a run of bad sleep that unravels the rest. The status line at the top of this page exists because pretending otherwise would make everything else here worthless.
So the comeback loop is part of the system, not an apology for it. The doctrine, as plainly as I can state it: the fall is data, not a verdict. The restart happens at the next available opportunity, not at some clean future date. You restart where you are, not where you left off. And you say the number out loud, because a number you won't say is a number that runs you.
I've restarted more times than I can count — diets, training cycles, and once, with a duffel bag, my entire life. The restart is the skill. The posts below are where I practice it in public.
The reasoning and research behind every line above is becoming a book — Wired for More, written in public.
// THE BRAIN — POSTS
The first note. Why I'm done being polished in public and real in private — and what I'm going to document here every week.
Week 1 of the restart, filed like an incident report: what broke on vacation, what held, the exact restart plan, and the numbers coming next week.